She was abandoned and alone. As she scanned the large, dimly lit, room eerie figures surrounded her. If it wasn’t for the moonlight filtering through cracks in the old building it would be pitch black. She couldn’t decide if she’d be better off not seeing anything, or if the grotesque mannequins and mechanized ghouls were, in a strange way, comforting.
“See. Everything here is fake.” She assured herself. An especially convincing werewolf seemed to be paying her more attention than the rest of the motley crew. She could feel someone’s eyes on her.
“It’s a haunted house at an amusement park. It’s supposed to look scary, but there’s nothing here. There’s no one here.” She repeated these thoughts over and over in her head.
She tried to rise to her feet, but quickly fell back over. Her wrists and ankles were bound with duct tape. On the other side of the room a grim reaper stood next to a sign that read: ‘Dante’s Inferno’. The reaper pointed to a doorway themed to be the gateway to Hell. His scythe looked to be sharp enough to cut throw her tape.
“But how can I reach that?” She wondered.
Boom! A loud noise interrupted her thoughts. It sounded like someone slammed a really big door.
Laying on the dusty floor on her side she tried to look around to locate where the noise had come from.
BOOM! The entire haunted house seemed to shake this time.
She began to sweat nervously and could feel her heart beating out of her chest. She sat up and quickly scooted over to the nearest wall. She reached her feet and peered through a hole in the terribly decaying building. A few rooms away she could just barely see a glowing white figure moving slowly through another room. She’d scream, but no one would hear her anyway. Gillian was the only person in an abandoned amusement park miles from civilization.
He stormed out of the library with the ripped out pages in hand. He didn’t have time for librarians or photo copiers or speed limits. His yellow sports car screeched out of the library parking lot. Anger and fear collided in his mind like hot and cold storm fronts as he sped away.
On the passenger seat were aged, yellowish pages. One was a park map labeled “Lake Arrowhead Amusement Park – 1944.” This was the last place on Earth he ever wanted to go. The fires, accidents, and strange circumstances around the park’s closing were still a part of local legend 60 years later. Lake Arrowhead was so infamous that the local planning boards never developed that part of the county. The land and the lake itself were said to be cursed by the Native American tribes that once lived there.
He didn’t believe in curses, but the numerous incidents were fact. When an entire community shuns an area it’s in your DNA to presume it off limits as well. Tonight, he couldn’t think about any of that. He was on a mission. His friends were missing in action. Calling the police wasn’t an option. And, he knew that if he didn’t get to her by morning it could be too late.
“It had to be this.” He thought.
The high school athlete, homecoming king, and former gang member was thought to be invincible. Only those that were close to him knew that he had a paralyzing fear of the supernatural. And one of those closest to him had exploited the golden boy’s Achilles heel as Cole was about to enter the supernatural hub of the county.
What do you think?
I don’t consider myself a great fiction writer, but it was a hobby of mine before I started this blog in 2006. I thought it’d be neat to write a short story related to an abandoned amusement park.
Now it’s up to you! If you want to read more I have to know that this story will have an audience. I need 25 comments from 25 different people by October 1st and I’ll post more of this story throughout the month of October. Hopefully, I’ll conclude it on Halloween.
September 24, 2010 at 19:58
Thought that was great. I want more.
September 24, 2010 at 23:43
very nice work. It's funny just tonight I was thinking about all the halloween haunts out there. As i'm interested in film I started thinking of a screenplay about an amusement park serial killer. I figured you could have rides rigged so they would crash and one of the haunt actors would actually be the killer. Kind of cliche but I was thinking of the typical hollywood cheese fest. Would like to read more though!
September 25, 2010 at 05:51
We want more!
September 25, 2010 at 05:52
i want more
September 25, 2010 at 13:59
Really cool into, I want more!
September 25, 2010 at 14:57
Very descriptive, you made it very easy to paint the picture of the haunted house scene. Awesome writing, Joel.
I want more!
September 25, 2010 at 16:49
Although I am still in high school, I have already decided to write books, and design roller coasters. But now, you have inspired me to combine the two! My vision is a chain of books based around the themeing of various independent themed coasters around the world! For Example: The Beast at King's Island, Mystery Mine at Dollywood, and Nemesis at Alton Towers and its sequal-Nemesis: Inferno at Thorpe Park. With the park and designer's permission of course.
September 26, 2010 at 04:15
Someone did make a book based on the black hole at Alton towers, It's called The Watchers, it's a fun read, but I wouldn't say scary. It has a bit of a disturbing concept though.
PS-CC, That was great, and I'm looking forward to reading more.
PS2-Another Theme park related book is Full Tilt by Neil Shusterman.
September 25, 2010 at 17:25
More please.
I love writing. Ain't it awesome?
September 27, 2010 at 17:47
I'll read more, I'd love to see more fiction on here.
September 28, 2010 at 13:45
Count me in!
September 28, 2010 at 14:55
Come on People, write!
September 28, 2010 at 16:16
Thanks for the positive feedback everyone. It's not looking like we're going to make it to 25 people by Friday though.
September 28, 2010 at 18:00
I got caught up in it – great job! Finish the story!
September 29, 2010 at 04:04
yeah man dfinish the story love it..great idea my two favourite things ghost stories and theme parks
September 29, 2010 at 05:33
Hey CC- to hell with the 25 people! You clearly enjoy writing so keep it up! Who cares if 15 people read it or 15,000, you shouldn't be reserved about your writing. If you're happy with it, that's all that matters. The fact that you have a good audience here is just an awesome bonus. Definitely post the rest of the story! You know we're all reading!
September 29, 2010 at 08:20
Good points. That's how I've built the blog. I started it not really caring if anyone visited or not as long I enjoyed doing it. But now I've got so many projects that I'd like to do and writing a short story will take a good amount of my mental energy/free time that it'd be nice to know that there's an audience for it. I've done a few projects this year that took a good bit of work and got very little response. One example being my first video blog. Although, it might have been more about the subject matter.
Anyway, you're right though, I shouldn't care about an audience, but for something this time intensive I do. I could spend the time working on Phases 3 and 4 of Theme Park Syndicate and growing the Roller Coaster Wiki on that site.
September 29, 2010 at 15:41
Not that I want to steal any of your thunder, but I have a couple completed roller coaster shorties that I could adapt for the blog if you want to do one as a dry run before you get to work finishing your piece.
October 2, 2010 at 01:23
Sounds good Aric. Do they take place at fictional parks or real parks? Just curious.
September 29, 2010 at 16:03
Good stuff, Joel! Maybe this is the type of writing we need during the dreaded "off season."
September 30, 2010 at 16:40
Amen!
October 1, 2010 at 16:33
One of the reasons why I hate the cold. Amusement parks, especially in my area, close down for 5 1/2 months.
October 1, 2010 at 18:08
Could not agree more! Seperation anxiety from coasters
October 2, 2010 at 01:32
I usually create new sites and features and redesign the blog in the off season, but if I can also muster the creativity energy needed to do stories like this maybe you'll see more.
Plus, it sounds like Aric might have some coaster fiction for us too.
September 30, 2010 at 17:27
Sounds great! In-other-words, I want more.
September 30, 2010 at 17:29
Awesome, Joel! I want to read more… great job!
October 1, 2010 at 06:04
What a cool story! Halloween at Theme Parks freak me out anyway, but for some reason I like scary things. Keep more coming please!!!
October 7, 2010 at 15:46
Bring back Davin! That guy knew how to clean up the mean streets of DC! Surely he'd have no problem smackin' around a few spooks and spirits, all while wooing the ladies. Great story, but i'm waiting for our buddy Davin to enter the scene.